#anyway... I know I've said this many times but...
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greyves-under-fire · 2 hours ago
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God, this. My nanny's disabled and always takes this stuff seriously when her family who also is, is sick, she makes sure everybody knows because it feels important enough to tell them to make sure they care.
But when she told my dad that i had covid pneumonia two months ago, while he's been well aware and passive of my disabilities and how many times covid has immeasurably ruined my body and my life, all he said was that i seemed fine at my niece and nephews birthday party the week before. It didn't matter that i was sick and it must be awful anyway.
Like yeah, of course i put up the mask, but you had to be fucking blind not to see it. Because of course, no one saw it when me crossing the parking lot to help get stuff from the car had me holding back *screams* and panic attacks due to the fact that my muscles made me feel like i was being burnt alive, and i genuinely could. Not. Breathe. It felt like i was breathing glass into my lungs.
And every time i was asked to go get something else or needed to, of course no one saw when i ducked my head to wipe away tears because of how overwhelming it was to have to do it AGAIN. Of course he didn't notice that it took me 5x longer every next time to get to the car, stay there, and come back.
Of course he didn't think about why i would be staring off into space with a tense expression the whole time any more after he asked and i gave a vague answer of pain.
I have such an obvious crying face. it's always blatantly obvious if i have been.
There's no way i looked "fine" i just looked "as usual" which of course, he only assumes is fine, even when he genuinely knows and understands otherwise.
He treats me like it would hurt him too much to think about me being so constantly fucking miserable and broken and hurt, so he chooses to never think of it altogether instead and still pretend he's so much of a better dad than he used to be. Sure, he is. But it's not enough. Like the most ignorant and cruel coping mechanism.
It doesn't matter, that this is the sixth bout of covid I've had, causing irreparable damage to my lungs and immune system, causing a never ending flare up of the most painful and depressing and nightmarish fibro symptoms that have finally caused me to consider a cane. It doesn't matter that i'm only 19, just like it didn't matter to him when i was only 14 or 15 or 16.
He didn't reach out. He didn't check on me. He didn't talk to me about it, and assumed i'd be fine walking a flight of stairs a few weeks later.
They truly think that being used to it means anything. It means nothing. All it means is that i'm in so much pain and discomfort all the time.
There's no easy and simple way of wrapping it into a digestible bow of "yeah but they're sick all the time.(like it's fine for me to be used to it as long as i'm not actively dying.)" it's just an excuse for them not to be inconvenienced by our pain. And i'm always expected to reach out when he gets sick to check on him.
I'm so fucking sick of it.
sorry for the vent.
What a lot of abled people don't understand is that when you get more sick as someone who was already physically disabled/chronically ill, you don't get the sympathy, you don't get people sending you cards and coming to visit and help you with things. Everyone just kind of assumes that you can handle it, that it's not *really* anything new. Maybe people might acknowledge it for a week or two, but then to them it's just normal. You were already sick, so why would being a little more sick be disruptive to you, right?
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hel1nn · 15 hours ago
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Babygirl ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐
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𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x nerdy!fem reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ : fluff | smut / nsfw mdni | slight angst | collage au | soft!gojo | bf!gojo | slight biker!gojo | gojo eating your pussy | insecurities | virginity loss | pet names | size kink slightly | ꫂ ၴႅၴ
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You had been dating satoru almost 1year,it was surprising since its your first relationship and satoru used to be a player before meeting you. You heard rumours about him dating girls and leaving them in one week. When you started to date him you find out it wasn't satoru who played with every girl's heart. It was them who dated satoru. Having sex with him and making him buy things for them and after a weak they left gojo like as always. But here you are. You didn't had sex with satoru yet your in love with him almost a year. You weren't ready for sex this soon in your relationship and satoru completely respected your boundaries. Cuddling and kissing was the only intimacy you shared with him. Oh..how you love him. How could anyone just use him as a tool and left him like as always.
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*how you met satoru*
Satoru was tired of this. No one really took relationships with him serious,he doesn't wants to end up as a player who only dates for sex or anything like that. But he started to look like one. Until he saw that new girl in the college, always buried in the books. Sometimes he caughts you staring at him but whenever he notices you look away. You kinda caught his interest.
-
"don't worry! At least iam not going to the party alone,i am going with you.. right?"
You were following your friend like a puppy, while requesting your friend to take you to the one of those frat parties. with her,she was repeatingly brushing you off. Even satoru noticed it. In the locker room he heard you talking with your friend.
"c,mon i won't cause any trouble.."
Your friend was done with this so much. She finally snapped.
"you won't cause trouble but i don't want to be seen with a cringe ass like you in the party. Your always wearing those short skirts know your thick ass thighs are exposed. You know what? You'll ruin the whole party if i take you there with me" and she left the locker room with that. You also left after few moments later,with puffy eyes. Yeah satoru saw you crying. He felt bad thay he couldn't do anything that day. You stopped wearing your mini skirts,it was better than being insecure.
🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
In the library as always you were buried in your book. You were enjoying your peaceful silence until it broke.
"hey"
You looked around,your eyes locking with the blue sapphire ones. You stared at him before shaking your head, snapping out of your daze as you give him an nervous smile. You have heard about him being on of the popular boys and rumours about him being a player or anything like that. You really didn't cared about it since it wasn't something you should worry about.
"oh..hey." you mumble softly, pushing your glasses up your nose. He smiled back as he took s seat beside you. "I've seen your around the college do many times so...i thought approaching you wouldn't be bad..." He said with his signature grin, he's eyes looked at your book "what are you reading"
"oh..its about a girl having a boring life before she fell in love with a pretty wizard." You perked up like a puppy since someone was interested in what you were reading. Satoru chuckled "can i take a look whats in it.." he said and you happily gave him the book. He started to read a little by little, flipping the pages
"can i borrow this book... I'll give you back in a week" he said and you were a little surprised..a guy like him reading a book..well yoi said yes anyway
"its fine.. just make sure to give it back" you give him a soft smile. His heart almost melted at that. Little did you knew he borrowed the book so he could talk to you again.
Everything started from there, he'd take you to parties with him. Introduced you to his friends,geto and shoko. You were much happier after meeting him. So when he asked you to go on a date with him,you couldn't say no. And you didn't regret that. He took you to multiple fancy places and shopping,riding on his black bike while hugging him from behind bought you so much joy. It didn't take too long for him to end up kissing you softly on your birthday.
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Your 1year Anniversary with satoru is near. Only 3days and your relationship Will turn one year. you have to get a gift for him since you already caught him planning on showering you with gifts. You lay down on your bed,rolling to here and there. You sigh. You had some money you saved before dating satoru but then totally forgot about them. Today you remembered about it and decided you'll give satoru a gift or surprise with it. You sigh and pout slightly. You end up wasting two days thinking what you can get satoru on the anniversary and then finally today you find out something. A lingerie. A baby blue lacy flower lingerie. yes you were too shy to have sex with him but not uncomfortable anymore. You were shy about how he looked bare. You have only seen him shirtless before and it was enough to make your legs feel jelly. so imagine him fully bare got you kicking your legs in the air. You told him that you got a surprise for him. He softly chuckled and waited for it. You told him to visit you at night on the day on your anniversary. As the day came,at night he visited you. He placed all the gifts he bought for you on the table near. Already walking off to your room with the bouquet of roses. You told him to not bring any cake since you planned on making it at home. You heard him knock on your rooms door. "Its open" your sweet voice yelled from inside and he opened it,
"so what does my sweetheart got to show me-" he said teasingly before his jaw dropped. Looking at the sight Infront of him. You were wearing that lingerie. Beside you a cutely decorated cake placed. Sitting on the bed as if a delicious meal that was ready to get devoured. His mouth almost watered. You blushed seeing him staring at you that long "toru?.." you mumble softly. He finally shakes he's head before smirking softly "your full of surprises. Aren't you princess?" He chuckled before entering your room, kicking the door shut behind him as he made his way to you. Sitting on the bed beside,his long fingers lifted up your chin gently "your so pretty baby" he said.."but you were uncomfortable back then" he cupped your face,his forehead resting on yours "you sure you want to do this? If you're comfortable i am more than happy to further our relationship." He smiled softly. You completely melted against him
"toru first of all i am not uncomfortable and i want to further our relationship." You kissed his cheek softly, hugging him. He smiled kissing your forehead,he gently laid you down on the bed,his fingers dancing on your exposed arms as he started to kiss you, his tongue gently pushing into your mouth, playing with it. You softly moan into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"hold on tight princess,iam about to rock your world" he growled playfully after pulling away. Satoru made quick work of his clothes, yanking his shirt over his head and shoving his pants down his hips to free his throbbing erection. He crawled over her prone form, the heat of his gaze roving hungrily over her curves as he settled between her parted thighs. Ripping your cute panties off as he spits on your beautiful cunt. You whined shyly,
"i can buy 100 of these later baby," he said as he gives your cute pusssy a long lick, moaning at the taste. "Already so wet for me..hehe" he giggled sheepishly as his long fingers plays softly with your clit, teasing your little hole,you moaned at that "toru- ahh..hahh" you whined with that,satoru gives your pinkish pussy another lick before thrusting his two fingers knuckle-deep into your welcoming heat, groaning at the way your walls clenched around the digits. He pumped them slowly, relishing each breathy moan and needy whimper that fell from your lips as he worked her closer to the edge.
Gojo's eyes rolled back in bliss at the erotic sounds spilling from your lips, your desperate moans and whimpers driving him wild with lust. His mouth watered in the way you writhed beneath him, grinding your dripping sex wantonly against his fingers as he thrust them deeper, harder, stoking the flames of your pleasure "nghh 'toruuu...i am gonna-"
"use your words baby" he sucks your clit,your back arched in pleasure. Screaming his name.
"That's it, baby. Sing for me," he encouraged huskily, thumb circling your swollen clit and smearing the wetness pooling between your thighs. "I want to hear you fall apart on my fingers before I split you open on my cock."
"toruuu" you whined again,your legs shaking in pleasure
"Come on, princess. Let go for me. I want to feel this greedy little pussy squeeze the life out of my fingers," he commanded roughly, curling them just right to hit that special spot deep inside
"i think i'll- ahhh"
Gojo crashed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, swallowing your cries of ecstasy as your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave. continuing to stroke her quivering sex until the last aftershock subsided, leaving her boneless and panting beneath him. Only then did he withdraw his fingers, bringing them to his mouth to clean your essence from the digits with a low moan of appreciation. "Delicious," he purred, eyes dark with hunger. "But I think it's time for the main course. Are you ready for me, sweetheart?"
"toru.." you spoke panting,you tongue lulling out of your mouth slightly "you know..its my first time hahh.. be gentle...pwe- please" He gives you a nod "of course. I won't hurt my princess in a special time like this." He said, removing your lacy bra, exposing your perky breasts,he leans down and sucks on of your cute nipple. His fingers playing with the other one. After a moment he pulled away licking his lips, removing his boxers. You stared at his crotch as he frees his little monster perking up between his legs,your mouth almost watered,staring at the nine inch beautiful cock. He smirked at your dumbfounded expression
"there princess,be ready for now" he said as he starts to settle between your legs. Then rubbing his swollen tip against your silt. You whined weakly, gripping at his bicep. He gives your forehead a kiss before finally slipping into your heat,even though you're pussy only did took half of his cock. The way you moaned made his eyes roll back. He slowly thursts after letting you get adjusted to his size. It only took few minutes for you to go dumb on his dick,he pounded into you and you were screaming. Screaming in pleasure and ecstasy. Drooling on his cock. Your perky breasts bounces with each thurst he gives you
"yes yes yes scream like that princess and I'll endup cumming before you"
He grumbles softly, almost shaking at how tight your pussy is, making him drool. He smirks dumbly as he his pace becomes faster
"toruu...wan more" you slur out dumbly, squirming cutely
"yeah? Want me to break this bed while fucking you baby?" He chuckles as he leans down, kneeding your breast and sucking on another. You wrap your arms around him. Legs shaking in pleasure
"feels so g-good..hahh ngh" you whine trying to kiss him,he smirked and kisses your lips as he founds out. Biting your lips softly.
"toru I'll..hahh..." You whine again. Clinging to him for dear life
"that's it princess cum for me" his pace becomes even faster,this time hammering into your cute pussy. And with the last thrust both of your orgasms washes over you. You screamed in pleasure,legs shaking and panting satoru resting on top of you. He kisses your forehead
"you did so well for me,baby" he praises you . You give a weak kiss on the cheek. He pulls out an soft cock from inside of you. And then your body goes limp. Satoru slightly panicks. He gently swipes you into his arm, carrying you to bathroom for a nice and warm bath. When you woke up you find yourself resting against his chest in the bathtub,satoru smiles at you when you look uo at him
"you passed out after our love making"
You sigh and again melt over his bare chest, wrapping your arms around him
"who wouldn't you literally shaked my world" you mumble shyly, placing few soft kisses on his chest,he chuckles before lifting your face up with a long fingers "but you liked it" he playfully teases and you break into a giggle,booping his nose with yours.
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A/N ೀ : English isn't my first language sorry if i made any mistakes:) this one was cringy but okayyyy
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pinkpinkmermayyy · 3 days ago
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little wip for that tfone tangled au I've been thinking about
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B-127 wasn't a normal bot. For one, he was a miner, so he already lacked the cog that the rest of the bots in Iacon had. Secondly, he was granted a special power within his spark, one where if he touched the chest area of another bot, closed his eyes, and concentrated at that point, he could heal them of all their injuries and even reverse death. He hadn't reached that level of mastery (reversing death) but could heal all sorts of pains within a bot's body.
That's what he did for his caretaker, Sentinel Prime, anyway. Bee had been told the story of his creation and why he was kept in Sub-Level 50 so many times that he could recite it by memory.
"Before you had gotten online, The Quintessons had known about your special abilities and tried to kidnap you and keep you as their slave, but I was able to save you before they could hurt you. Cybertron outside of Sub-Level 50 is cruel and dangerous, and I already put myself in danger with others knowing that I'm protecting you. But if you were out there? You'd be dead before you could even blink! So that's why you stay down here, because it's safe. Do you understand?"
And so here he was, monitoring the seemingly infinite flow of trash and scrap metal into the incinerator. Steve didn't seem too interested in conversation in the morning (Bee could tell by Steve's body language), so it was just straight off to work.
He knows of the dangers that lay beyond the familiar metal walls, but would it really hurt if he just took a peek at the outside world? Despite Sentinel's constant warnings, he was also bombarded with grand adventures that Sentinel went on in search of the Matrix of Leadership, and from the epic wording of his stories they sounded pretty awesome if Bee said so himself.
Just when he was about to get lost in his daydreams, two bots were suddenly shoved into Sub-Level 50 by another, larger bot, taking B-127 by surprise.
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teaboot · 2 days ago
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again, mentioning my security job, but do you know how many people of all ages justify their stupid, shitty behaviour by saying, "everyone else lets me do this", "other security guards don't have a problem with it", "nobody's told me not to before", "I've been doing this my whole life", "You're the only one who's said anything about it", "the other guy only gave me a warning", "you're not going to go easy on me because I'm a kid/old/have a disability?"
If I'm willing to risk my job kicking you out of a place, then the thing you did is serious, and warnings didn't sway you. It's persistet or particularly heinous problem, and likely a danger to yourself, other people, or the location or equipment you are using. If I'm going to let you come back another day, I need to know that you know that your actions may impact you.
Because you have proven that you lack common sense or courtesy, or that you cannot understand why your choices are bad ones, we are making this simpler: Will X action make Us wreck Your day? Regardless if you think it makes sense or not? Yes? Then hopefully you will not do it.
Some other person gave you a warning and it was fine after that? Then what I'm hearing is, "I was explicitly told not to do this, and I'm doing it anyway."
Having a disability does not grant you the right to park your car in the way of an emergency door. Being a kid does not allow you permission to shove a screwdriver into the coin slot of a vending machine.
And if you did do those things, and something bad happened, the universe is not going to absolve you of responsibility just because you thought it was too harsh.
So I will do my best to protect you from that, and if you ignore me, then I will find a less dangerous solution. Like, maybe, escorting you from the premises.
You are, from an early age as a child, taught the difference between right or wrong.
Once you know the theory, you may begin making educated choices.
If those educated choices result in bad things, then congratulations!
You have, through the scientific process, learned how to verify a fact.
Next time you will remember what you now know to be true:
Don't do that thing.
"How am I supposed to learn if there are consequences?"
You will learn from the consequences. Hope this helps
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kaliforniahigh · 3 days ago
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Can you please write something about Noahs girlfriend trying the ‘dafuq’ trend that I’ve seen all over TikTok on Noah 😭 If you haven’t seen the trend you can probably check anywhere for it! xx
I went down a rabbit hole watching these videos. Couples trend are so funny when they're harmless!
You know what other trend would be funny as hell? Recording with a filter and seeing how long it takes for Noah to notice his eyes are too far apart LOL
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From time to time, Noah agreed to do a video with you. You weren't super active on social media, but sometimes you posted food-related videos. This time, you invited him to taste the Crumbl flavors of the week.
You both left the store, and Noah was holding the large pink box full of cookies in his hands, and you reached in his pocket for the key to unlock the car. You both got in and he set the box on the center console, in between you two.
"Why do we have to eat in the car?", he asked you, a bit puzzled by the idea.
"Because it's the aesthetic, Noah", you explained, grabbing your phone and setting it on the holder stuck to the dashboard.
"Eating in the car is an aesthetic now?", he mumbled to himself and you just chuckled in response.
Noah thought you were just tasting the cookies in the video, but you had something else planned. You've seen this trend going around on TikTok, where girlfriends praked their boyfriends saying "dafuq" at the end of every sentence.
You decided that it would be a fun prank to pull on him, since it was harmless and there was finally a couples trend that didn't dimish the woman.
Since you didn't use many slangs while speaking, you had a feeling he would catch on pretty soon. But it was worth a try anyways.
"Ok, I'm gonna start recording", you told him and you saw him adjusting his hair out of the corner of your eye. You hit the record button and started speaking.
"Hey everyone, so we just left the Crumbl store, and we're sitting here with a big box full of cookies for us to try, dafuq", you said the last word a little lower, so it wasn't as obvious.
Noah rubbed his hands together, actually excited to try the sweet treats.
"So I was thinking we could split them in half, dafuq", you said, while opening the box and looking over the different flavors.
"What, did you find something strange in there?", he asked you, pering into the box, and you realized he was acknowledging the "dafuq" you added. Playing it cool, you replied.
"No, everything's fine", he only nodded in response. "Do you want to try the Confetti Milshake or the Snickerdoodle first, dafuq?"
You looked at him, trying to keep your composure. He was looking at you weird now, but didn't comment on it yet.
"We can try the Snickerdoodle first", he said and you went to grab the cookie and split it in half, handing one piece to Noah. You both clicnked your cookies together in a toast before eating, and you really hoped he wouldn't say cheers, because you couldn't imagine you saying "cheers dafuq".
You both took a bite out of the cookie, feeling the sweet flavor enter your mouth.
"This one is really nice. Simple and nice flavor", he gave his review.
"It is really nice. Not to sweet either, dafuq", you said, grabbing a napkin to clean your mouth.
"Ok, what is going on?", he finally asked you, now turning his body to fully face you.
"What do you mean, dafuq?", you said, looking at the box as if trying to decide the nest flavor.
"Nope, you're dodging the question. Why are you dafuq to the end of every sentence?", he grabbed your hand and you turned your head to look at him.
You couldn't help but break into laughter. His expression was actually serious, because he was actually concerned about you.
"Why are you laughing?", he asked, with a little indigination in your voice.
"Oh, this is so funny", you grabbed your stomach and tried to take some deep breaths. "It's just a prank I've seen on TikTok", you finally explained to him.
"Oh my God", he breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought your brain was malfunctioning for a moment", he put a hand on his chest.
"I'm fine, I promise", you put a comforting hand on his arm, and after finally calming down, he said.
"Can we try the Confetti Milkshake now?"
You stopped recording and grabbed the cookie from the box, splitting it in half and giving a piece to Noah.
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lordsammichsilas · 1 day ago
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I saw a recent post someone made speculating on birth years for each of the FO4 companions. They had estimated Danse being born (created?) in 2261 and part of that reasoning was 1) he had been paladin by 2277 and 2) Maxson said it took Danse “many” years to become paladin.
I wanted to expand on it without dumping a huge wall of text onto their post. If you want to know which post, here's the link. And this isn't me disagreeing with any of it. It was just something that got me thinking and I wanted to expand on it.
I've been kind of stuck on Danse's character for a bit because of the fic I'm writing. I didn't actually realize Maxson had said it took Danse many years to become Paladin (I looked it up and it's when you first join the BoS and you're given the rank of Knight. If you ask why not Paladin, that's when you get that info).
So anyway it made me wonder what “many” years would be in the context of a military career. The Brotherhood of Steel was born from the US military, so I looked into the ranks of the US Army to get an idea. Danse is a senior officer with the BoS and a field commander. From what I can tell, the most senior field commander in the Army is the rank of Major. Just doing a quick Google search, it takes about 11 years to make that rank. Added to at least 10 years as Paladin, I'm estimating Danse has been in the BoS for about 21 years by the beginning of FO4.
If someone joins the Army at 18, they'd be about 39 by the time they reach Major. Since Danse is a synth and was created as an adult humanoid male, that doesn't mean much in terms of his actual chronological age. It does for his perceived age, though.
The BoS keeps really extensive records on its members. They even keep their DNA on file. When you walk through the Prydwen, you get a very paranoid vibe and the children on the ship are encouraged to spy on all staff aboard the Prydwen. And yet, no one suspected Danse was a synth.
Synths don't age. At SOME point, even if they never got the files from the Institute saying Danse was a missing synth, someone would have had to start questioning why Danse still looks the same after all of those years in the BoS. That hadn't happened, yet. Also the stress of battle and the scars on his face probably do give the illusion of “aging” to an extent. Danse also isn't close to anyone in the BoS and doesn't talk about himself. His background is as an anonymous orphan in the Capital Wasteland. All of this gives plenty of wiggle room on his perceived age to others. I'm guessing anyone in the BoS would probably just assume he's in his mid-late 30's. Maybe early 40's.
And up to that point, the timeline would match. His time spent in the BoS would point to him being that age. He looks like he's about that age. He's a senior officer. It's fine. Give it about 10 years, though, and people would have started asking questions. Danse was on borrowed time and he had no idea.
And then there's time spent in Rivet City. He and Cutler were quite close, enough that they joined up together. My guess is that they were probably seen as two young men at around the same age (I'll just say late teens, early 20's) when they joined up. Since we know Danse is an adult who doesn't age, I'm going to lean hard on the battle scars theory for simulating aging and also say he was probably clean shaven in the beginning which also made him look younger.
Even then, I am guessing he spent enough time with Cutler for them to become close without raising any suspicions on his age. I'm going to give about 2 years in Rivet City. I figure that's plenty of time for two young men to become friends enough that they run off and join the military together. Without the appearance of his age raising any red flags.
That puts the timeline up to 23 years.
Prior to that, it gets really fuzzy. We know nothing of his time in the Institute. We can make some educated guesses, but all we know for sure is that he was a missing synth named M7-97. Danse himself doesn't know anything about it. I can't really give any guess on how long he was there without going ENTIRELY into headcanon territory.
Him being born in the year 2261 is totally plausible. That would make him chronologically 26 years old.
His perceived age, though, I thought was interesting to think about because you have to see how his appearance and the direction his life took was almost out of luck that no one found him out sooner. I think he was in a far more precarious position than even he realized and even without the BoS discovering he was a synth from the Institute, he was getting close to a point in time where his age would have come into question even more and people would have started getting suspicious anyway.
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lightningant · 3 days ago
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I've never seen characterizations of Tom and Harry the way yours is. I love how neurotic and messed up they both are -- they're *SO CUTE* too. <3 <3 <3
Tom is just so exhausted and cynical and Harry is a manic catastrophe with sooo many crossed wires and they're HILARIOUS. XD
And just so well written, I cannot tell you how distracted I was for at least a week after I read what you had for your fic -- I truly, truly admire your narration and dialogue and characterizations (I already said that but PLEASE I LOVE THEM SO **BAD** >O< ) Soooo funny and well made.
They're realistic! Tom and Harry are so messy and also normal people at the end of the day who make mistakes and aren't super cool all the time (really, they're utter dorks, and you TOTALLY show thatt) but also they're competent and scary and stubborn and you just have suchh a nice blend of their facets and I JUST....aghhh, I love itt.
Also I ADORE your designs -- I love how Tom is so sickly and neat (you said it best "Victorian child with tuberculosis" LMAO), and Harry is so IDK, he's just a Guy but in the most wonderful way -- I'm not actually good with words :,))))
I just love your art style in general, it's like, realistic yknow. You don't get rid of normal people "imperfections", they're a part of the design or enhance them -- I don't think the word imperfections is right, I just mean like, you don't exclude non-conventionally attractive aspects of bodies or facial expressions??? Idk, I'm trying here, I really am. Just, just, just I like it a lot and I wanna be like that toooooo >.<
IIIIIIII dunno if I have accurately gotten anything across or even given an actual good compliment in this entire thing but anyways you're very cool and awesome and also PLEASE forget that I said they were Babygirl I've never used that word before in my LIFEE and don't know if that was right at all -- if it was nevermind I meant it all and am so cool -- ANYWAYS bye :,)
I don't think I've succeeded in lessening my embarrassment but uhhhhh, I hope I've at least articulated myself better :,)))
Askbomb swag. Thank you, this message was so sweet :) I shall try to match energies.
One of the things I love most is that the kind of person who puts up pretensions is, innately, trying to hide something about themselves they find sub-par. Tom isn't just a scary and incredibly powerful domineering sigma male who is a master manipulator, he is a person who is actively attempting to turn himself into that man, and in my fic he is still a teenager and still tripping his way through that mental image he has of himself. The two worst ages to ever be are 15 and 20; fifteen, when you are ready to shed childhood but don't know what maturity looks like just yet, and 20, when you are ready to become your own person and achieve adulthood, picking your way across existence-defining beliefs. And his only friend for the past like, 7 months? has been his 16-year-old self who has the single-minded objective of looking cool and mature to his adult self. A hell of his own making.
Harry is also 20. He is one of those 'unusually mature for his age' kids and he has an inflated sense of his own righteousness and capability, despite being the actual one with the emotional range of a teaspoon (he just knows to keep it himself). There is no way Harry would detect he is having a manic fit, especially if he is having one that is triggered by his arrested feelings on Sirius. It's incredibly fun writing him perform this extremely risky and reality-altering plan and his plan was "idk, kill him?" and picking shit up off the ground whenever he sees it, the DADA position included. our hero.
Beautiful tragic terminally ill gothic prince / fit jock is really a match made in heaven aesthetically. Cannot get enough of it
Thank you for art compliment too ^_^ I used to lean more to anime fandoms so Harry Potter really let me stretch my legs on more 'normal people' facial features like big noses and soft chins and I'm glad it's clear how much fun I'm having doing that. Yay! Though one of the compliments I've always gotten that I've always been proud of is how distinct the way I draw expressions is.
No no...you're right. Tom is absolutely a babygirl. And Harry...well he was certainly Ginny's babygirl, and I'm sure a part of him is really itching to have someone put their hand on the small of his back 😔
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lialuvsaven · 3 days ago
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Icymi but also a little rambling about stuff I added here ( let me have this, I've spent more time w a dictionary writing this than I have in my last two years of highschool) and also bc I thought more writing this than I did any essay in my academic life 😔😔😔😔
1. The parchment shaped wall clock was supposed to be based on. This curio. I was so entraces by its design I pictured how something similar would look like as a clock (and yes this is a curio but it's weird looking enough that you can find it in some empty cardboard boxes or in the trash)
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2. The soup made with nettle leaves- is inspired from Cignidaki zumi— an actual Romani dish, soup made with stinging nettle leaves. I found a bunch of romani recipes but this one really caught my eye bc we have stinging nettle plant here I didn't know u can eat them until now.
3. The pink diamond bit is from the jade's timeline thing hsr posted a while ago ofc, I wanted to see a follow up on it and didn't get it so I made my own reality. I don't think finding out his birthday would take jade much effort bc A. The reports mention the avgin extinction being on their religious festival kakava and. His name is kakavasha. B. But other than that, checking his files (esp in the beginning) I like to think the system is advanced enough that it automatically concerts various dating systems and such (they're modern Enough to have the synesthesia beacon)
4. The corundum stone (god BLESS finding a stone similar to his eyes took YEARS OFF MY LIFE) it has other colors? Don't worry. Hsr has better gemstones. We can't even get the diamonds from Uranus.
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5. I have.... negative feelings about jade, if you couldn't tell. I tried not to make her like a completely evil lady, but given how she did call him to "talk" post penacony main quest in canon (it had layers too) I like to think between his whole thing in penacony and later actions she thought he might need a reminder. And shed know to pick a good time.
6. virtually no way for the reader to know his personal info if he doesn't give them UNLESS she knows someone like Jade. Had they asked topaz, she'd tell them that he doesn't like it (bc the stonehearts' birthdays and such are an occasion for a party/dinner/ etc, upper class socializing stuff (that is important to the business and cause) but aventurine doesn't do THAT even tho he does throw those necessary parties anyway. So it's obvious that he. Doesn't like celebrating it at least if nothing else. Later scrapped that cuz.... that's a lot of thinking
7. I thought of adding the catcakes bc cats (pets) are a great source of comfort for So many people. And they're incredibly good at sensing human emotions. And (canonically) they're said to be as intelligent as a 6 year old so. The catcakes remind him of food when aventurine is lost in his thoughts (and it doesn't feel like it's pleasant), to distract him and direct him towards a task. They all gather around him when he starts drinking bc while they likely don't understand the concept of drinking well they DO know he's distressed, so keeping him company to help him. They'd be a little freaked out to see him emotional I imagine, bc that's not something they ever saw (hence the immediate nervous attempt at comforting by nuzzling into him) I looked up how real cats act to write this and now I want a kitty do bad 😞😔
I also like. Didn't keep them in focus at all bc like....he's not in the headspace to think about them much. But they keep showing up bc that IS his family, too .
8. Dismissing a comforting smell as a potion seems something he'd do. There's actually an all good potion ( consumable) in hsr and while THAT one didn't end up in the market there's def similar stuff already. I imagine something that makes hospital food feel comforting for the patients would be popular, hence that conclusion
9. Kakavasha's shoes . I actually thought they were different when I wrote this but later realized that they seem ....to be modified. Mended maybe? But yeah. Only a pair of shoes
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10. His mother smells of creosote bush. This species is found in the deserts of southwestern North America, and is said to smell of the desert rain. For a child who was blessed by rain on his birth day I think his mother likely smelt of rain, too.
11. I wanted to add in a scene with Aventurine's secretary to show she really NEVER looks at his eyes because they're. Usually seen as freaky and odd by people. And paired with the discomfort itself, she'd naturally be more careful to not do that to not offend him (him being her boss and. Because he knows how everyone sees them.) not like that's what HE wants, but what she assumes. But I decided to scrap that lol
12. Also he only managed to cry that much bc he was inebriated lol I don't think he'll ever cry like that otherwise (plus his house is empty so he doesn't have to hide it(
And I wrote down about him still remembering the painful memories with his family (while he tries to forget the extinction event desperately) bc he needs to Preserve their memory and spent like 10 minutes thinking about it preservation.... preservation....
But anyway that's about it!!
Happy Birthday, Aventurine!!
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“Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.
Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget his birthday, again.”
Pairing: Aventurine x reader
Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort in the end to compensate for everything else ❤️ Reader is not physically present in the fic (they're not dead it's ok)
wc: 3.3k
Aventurine was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door just as the sun began to slant westward.
With a sigh, he puts down the pen and glances at the wall clock. The hands on the parchment-shaped monstrosity read 1 pm, but his eyes are drawn back to the purple tongue protruding from its massively extended mouth. Seriously, where does Stelle find these items? "An ugly, purple parchment shaped wall clock that looks like it's ready to eat people"— isn't something most people would think to give him, to say the least. But that's the thing—it was Stelle.
She claimed to have found it during one of her "excavations." And even though Miss March 7th did her best to keep her friend from going into further details, stepping on Stelle's toes right in front of him and giving her a sidelong glance, as if he wouldn't notice, he could tell what kind of "excavations" would turn up something like this. Not like he minds the origins of this gift, however. Gifts from friends are few and far to come by, especially ones who actually tolerate him. Not to mention, Stelle likely sincerely believes that it's a cool gift, which is why it has replaced the diamond-embedded wall clock on his wall.
His musings are interrupted by a second knock, which, like the first one, reverberates once around the room before fading away in embarrassment. "Come in." He announces, reclining back in his seat and looking at the door with expectation in his eyes. It was not uncommon for his secretary to appear randomly in his office, constantly fussing over yet another minor issue. He believed it was her; at least, his itinerary showed he didn't have any guest visits today. Maybe it was time to replace assistants—the new hire is clearly not on the same wavelength as him. But he'd only recently had Topaz yell at him for changing staff so frequently; he'd prefer not to tell her that her choice was horribly disappointing just yet.
With a tiny bag bearing a brand he is all too acquainted with, the secretary enters the office. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor the entire time, hence doesn't notice when her supervisor raises an eyebrow at the sight of his favorite jewelry brand. "Sir," she says in a low, somewhat flat voice, akin to that of a news reporter. "Earlier, a staff of Madam Jade stopped by. You have a present."
A grin appears on Aventurine's face, followed by a joyful chuckle. With how busy work has been lately, he'd almost forgotten when he asked Jade for a pink diamond, as has Jade apparently, seeing how long it's taken for her to send this. His request was a joke, of course, only meant to irritate Topaz. But he wasn't surprised either; Jade always takes good care of her weaponry. "Ahhh, no wonder!" He chirps and presses his palms together. "She must've finally found some generosity in her heart, hm?" He muses, and his assistant can only stand there stoically. He waves her off as she places the bag on his table and departs with an unnecessary low bow, never looking at his eyes once. As always.
When the secretary has left the room, he opens the bag, humming as he removes the box and gift card. Jade's handwriting is distinctive: prim and precise cursive that resembles a font.
"Happy birthday, Aventurine. This jewel would suit you far better than the pink diamond you asked for, don't you think?" — Jade
Kakavasha freezes. His birthday, she says, but she'd need to align the standard calendar system to the Sigonian one to find that out. She sent him a…..….a gift? For his birthday? 
Is this a fucking joke?
The box reveals a chunk of corundum. Raw, uncut, pink and blue hues all over. Shades way too close to his eyes, and it doesn't take a gemologist to tell that Jade had done her searching thoroughly to obtain this. A jewel the color of his eyes, the color of Avgin eyes, neatly wrapped in a box for….to send ..what sort of message, exactly? Oh Avgin, never forget who you were before I found you—unpolished and undeserving. forget your name, but never your roots.  
The note is crumpled and thrown in the trashcan, while the corundum and its box are hastily and carelessly pushed back into the bag. Really, so typical of Jade, he scoffs as he tosses the godforsaken bag into a random drawer, never to be seen again. 
Kakavasha— no, Aventurine always tries not to remember. He's never synced the Sigonian calendar system to check the date in trailblaze calendar, never makes the mistake of dwelling on the memories surrounding this day— even when he's too drunk to remember his own name. Done everything possible to not acknowledge it; because this day feels like nothing but a curse to him.
Unfortunately, Jade has now ensured that he never gets to forget, again. 
In any case, Aventurine concludes that it is not good for him to worry about this too much. Yes, he can just forget about the corundum. Yes, he is able to forget how it resembled Avgin eyes. Yes, he can also forget that Jade most likely sent this to "keep him in check" following the stunt he did in Penacony. But it was a mistake on his part to not see something coming. She had done this before, and it would not be the last time. He smiles at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror, composed, shrewd, and calculated. Since a mirror has the freedom of choice, it does not return his smile.
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By the time the car comes to a stop in front of his house, Aventurine is exhausted. His chauffeur unlocks the door for him, and he makes his way to the elevator. Yet he's interrupted again— of course, because it's a cursed day, and Aventurine has to restrain himself from scowling at the gateman, who stands in front of him wearing an anxious expression. "Sir, your friend had visited earlier to drop off something."
He raises an eyebrow and is about to inquire when he notices the bag the man is carrying. Without saying anything further, he simply takes the bag. You are the only one who'd own a dumb clockie bag and the only one who'd ever drop things off at his place.
When he steps in, his three catcakes meow loudly to greet him, and feels somewhat grateful for it. Today was just too exhausting, after all. He understands what this is about, based on the fact that you always give him gifts in person. Why, of all days, would you consider dropping it off today? And with no advanced notice- completely unlike you. How annoying, did Jade really have to do this too? He's never disclosed his birthday to you, so you probably coerced her into telling you, and she was glad to oblige, given you are of value to her.
Aventurine doesn't realize he's been standing in the kitchen for a long time until Spade begins massaging its fluffy body on his legs. He is surrounded by his three catcakes, who are all staring up at him expectantly. The message is crystal clear: We Want Food. He moves swiftly to get their food bowls, chuckling to himself before setting your lunchbox on the counter, sort of as an afterthought. At least they'll be able to go to bed well fed tonight. 
After serving them dinner, he leaves the kitchen carrying a bottle of wine, hoping to spend the remainder of the evening crashing on the couch. He can just leave everything else for tomorrow. The benefit of drinking is that it can temporarily impair your ability to sense emotions. He only needs a short term fix, after all. Come tomorrow, he'll take hangover pills, and walk out of this house as Aventurine of the stratagems again— undoubtedly.
He turns on a random B-grade movie, prepared to drink the night away. And he does precisely that—he pushes down thoughts of how his childhood friends, whose features now misty in his memories, would react if they were to see him. With another shot, he pushes down recollections of his mother's cooking—the special meals for the Kakava—and his birthday. Another to accept the now-blurry face of his sister in his memory as the only proof of her existence. Another to forget the clay dolls she'd made for him, on the last birthday kakavasha got to celebrate, that were broken when he had to run for his life. And one more shot, and another, till he's forgotten everything; till he's numb and emotionless.
Feeling empty and hollow is far worse than anything else, and being unable to cry isn't as pleasant as he thought it'd be. But in his lavish home, where gold abounds in every nook and cranny, he has little reason for tears. Money may not be able to buy him happiness, as he is well aware, but it certainly does spare him from ugly tears unfit for his visage. Maybe that's why he hasn't cried in a while, or perhaps he has simply lost his soul somewhere along the way. He stays on the couch till 3 am, accompanied by his pets. He pretends not to see the troubled looks they shoot at him, whispered words passed between them that are clearly about him. By the time he decides to rest for the night, he is fatigued, sluggish, and barely keeping it together.
When he gets up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen, Ace makes a protesting noise before promptly shutting up. Catcakes are smart creatures, and they understand him better than most individuals in his life (or maybe the difference lies in care) His throat is dry, and ice cold water from the freezer provides enormous relief. However, the respite is taken away from him by the crackling lightning, loud as a whip, pulling out memories up to the forefront of his mind again. Of the lightning without the rain, of Sigonia-IV. The drumming of the thunder is largely hidden by the concrete walls, so it isn't as hard on the ear—but it aches a lot more than it did before. Aventurine sneers to himself, dismissing the idea as ludicrous. As if.
The second time the thunder sizzles, Aventurine has to take a sharp breath and grip the countertop to steady himself. It sounds like playing dead in the bleeding streams of Sigonia-IV, like the booming cackle of the mocking thunder. Had he been an insolent child, just a little more doubtful than he already was, he'd believe it was Mama Fenge herself laughing at her so called "blessed child". The thunder sounds similar, but it's not the same. No, because this is still Aventurine and he's still here and those are someone else's memories, forgotten and buried in sand.
Aventurine sighs.
Drinking too much has never done any good to him.
Just as he is ready to leave the kitchen, he notices the lunchbox sitting the counter out of the corner of his eye. Oh, right. He hadn't even touched it. A distraction doesn't seem bad now, though. If he wants to fabricate a plausible lie about eating the food, he would at least need to know what kind of food you sent. If the mental image of your frown after discovering he never even looked at what you sent is what gives him the final push , he would never admit it.
The lunchbox has a plains bear cub logo: you've always been a sucker for cute things. He sets aside the little note attached for later this time, preferring to taste the dinner first. It looks like you chose to make him some kind of soup. Insulated lunchboxes are a blessing— because it's surely been well over half a day since you made it, yet it's still warm. While the presentation is relatively simple, it smells strangely comforting— effect of some potion? He's heard of those, but they're usually used for sick patients, no? Other than that, this is the first homemade meal he's having in a….while. Not that it matters. Aventurine isn't picky, and while the leafy greens are unfamiliar to him, he believes he can handle at least a tablespoon.
Even the largest avalanche can be triggered by the smallest of things. Just one spoonful, and yet it's enough to make his world stop.
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The dry, broken soil scraped against his bare feet, producing little clouds of dust in its wake. His strides were light and rapid, nearly tripping over himself with excitement and giddiness. Just a little more, and he'll reach the finish line. Even the Sun's typical glare felt kind today; warm and tender against his tanned skin. Jumping over the homemade hurdles, he reaches the finish line far ahead of his friends. They protest and pout, and he taunts them with the biggest smile on his face. The soles of his feet feel slightly sore from running barefoot, but Kakavasha wouldn't risk destroying his only pair of shoes for a game. 
When he hears his sister's voice calling for him, he rushes to embrace her and buries his face in her apron. His mother once told him that the Avgins all possess lovely voices, but Kakavasha believes his sister's is the best, especially when she laughs.
"And when will you listen to me and stop running around in the middle of the day, hm?" She pinches his nose and uses her apron to wipe the dirt off his face. Kakavasha beams at her with no regrets, proudly displaying the gap between his teeth. Once kakavasha had said his goodbyes to his friends, they walk hand in hand towards their tent.
There, his mother welcomes them with a warm embrace that smells like creosote bush and desert rain. “My darling," she coos, putting his small hands in her larger ones, rough from labour. "I remember you promised to be on time for lunch last time?" He grins cheekily, vowing not to do it again. (He's a repeat offender, but he knows that his mother and sister can't stay upset at him for long.)
His mother laughs, and tells him to tidy up before eating. Kakavasha's tummy is grumbling by the time he returns, and he finds the mats his sister laid down to sit on. The two siblings sit next to each other, chatting and giggling as they wait for their mother. She serves them a pot of hot soup with nettle leaves and lentils, just the way Kakavasha prefers it. He's overjoyed; quickly finishing his prayers before digging in. Kakavasha is a growing boy, and that's proved again when he finishes his bowl before his family.
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The soup she'd served him back then wasn't anything lavish; just a simple soup with local herbs and nettle leaves in a broth that smelt so uniquely of hers. His mama may have had a knack for cooking, but due to a lack of opportunities and resources, she never got to demonstrate her abilities. Compared to that, your food is much finer, and while excellent, it lacks the warmth of his mother's hands.  
Nevertheless, he can't resist taking another spoonful and quickly putting it in his mouth because the familiarity is so, so palpable. He recalls that his sister wanted him to eat better, so she gave him half of her portion after he finished his. His mother then gave his sister half of her portion, as they are Both growing children. All of a sudden, the bickering, the laughs, and their voices are as plain as day in his mind. He can't fully recall the glitter in his sister's eyes or the dimple on his mother's cheek, but it's clearer than any other memory he had of them, that's for sure. 
Aventurine can't stop crying, even if he wants to. Trying to halt the choking sobbing is fruitless, as is trying to figure out what's going on. He picks up the little message with shaking hands, hoping—praying—that it will help. You'll make it make sense. Somehow.
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“Dear Aventurine, I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!!”  
Written in thin, flowing, rounded letters that are noticeably cleaner than your actual handwriting. You undoubtedly put a lot of effort into each letter you wrote. Aventurine was correct in assuming you found out his birthday through Jade, as you have written it here. "Buying a gift for you seems…a little perfunctory," you said, "so I've settled with cooking you something myself."
"And if the dish tastes familiar (which I hope it does) then yes, you've guessed it right— it's a traditional Avgin dish."
The perfumed ink is thicker here, a few ink blots from where you've likely paused to think, go over each sentence in your head before writing them down.
You mention finding the Avgin dishes by reading some kind of research paper on Sigonian culture and food, but Aventurine isn't sure he can believe that. You wrote, "I was fortunate enough," yet chance alone wouldn't get you something like that. Sure, maybe some doctoral candidate was crazy enough to choose a dead planet and its deader tribes to write about, but finding that paper would be too difficult. The biggest issue, however, is that Aventurine believes this dish should not and cannot exist. The stinging nettle leaves his mother used are no longer available, and while he didn't know much about cooking at the time, he was aware that all of the spices he knew were almost extinct. He's looked enough to know.
"I'll be honest, I had some trouble locating the ingredients for it and had to swap the majority of them because I couldn't find them. I really wanted to bring back a familiar feeling, even if it tastes very different from how you remember it. Plus, it's the thought that counts, right?"
In contrast to the light-hearted language, your writing is slightly wobbly and darker here, and Aventurine wonders if you realise your emotions seep through every single one of your actions, laid bare for the world to see.
Noting the disappearance of their owner, curious, the catcakes peep into the kitchen are immediately alarmed to see their owner sitting on the counter stool, sobbing and clutching a box. Spade, unsure of what to do, nuzzles it's head on Aventurine's leg, while the others meow in an attempt to calm him down. Aventurine hasn't sobbed in a long time—he can't remember how to anymore. His body shakes with each ragged and broken sob, sounding shattered and damaged, but he can't stop.
"I hope it brings you fond memories" is what you wrote down, but are you aware of the full impact of what you did for him? Most likely not. Aventurine cherishes all of his memories, including the unpleasant ones: as long as it involves his family. His misery knows no bounds, but he's only had a few years with his sister, and even fewer with his mother. So even the saddest memories are never forgotten, so he can preserve as much of them as possible. They live through his memories, after all. 
Even when plain, his mother's meals provided him with more warmth than anything else back then. To feel that warmth decades later is a blessing he can't repay— but a blessing nonetheless. He doesn't have many memories like this one either, gentle and happy, contrary to the endless memories of struggling. He remembers their love so vividly right now, feels it so strongly, alongside yours— that he has no choice but to revel in it.
(Come tomorrow , when he's sober, puffy-eyed from crying and not as vulnerable, he'll have trouble figuring your reasoning. But for now, he'll be fine. Tonight, he'll go to sleep feeling loved. Tonight, his pets will cuddle him to sleep. Tonight, he'll dream of a Sigonia Only he knows.)
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A/N: I'm honestly still so embarrassed about this bc I have an idea but can't execute it like I want to and 🫠🫠 As always, comments and reblogs are really appreciated!! Thank you for reading <3
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what-breaks-my-heart · 1 year ago
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halorvic · 5 months ago
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#sars cov 2#covid 19#i've interacted with 4 different friends/acquaintances in the past month alone who have all been hospitalised after having a stroke#(and in one case multiple strokes)#one who i visited in hospital over the weekend had a (unmasked) nurse coughing up a lung in her room 👍#and one of them who had to undergo surgery also had to be moved to a different hospital#bc the ward they were keeping him in was full of confirmed covid patients 👍👍#idk how many times it needs to be said before it gets through people's heads but VACCINES ARE NOT ENOUGH#and encouraging ppl to rely solely on them when there are already plans to jack up the prices so you have to KEEP PAYING for boosters#for an ONGOING mass-disabling event is so laughably unrealistic and absurd and flat-out demonic#you need to mitigate the actual spread of covid by WEARING A MASK + fighting for CLEAN AIR/proper ventilation in public spaces!!!!!!#ppl are so eager to forget the whole 'break the chain of transmission' thing and how effective masking is and so this is where we're at#'i got infected and infected other ppl who might die or become permanently disabled but it's no big deal bc no one else wears a mask#so if /i/ didn't infect them someone else would have anyway so it's not my fault and really its got nothing to do with me and my choices'#if everyone is responsible then no one is responsible - that's how it works right?#it's no wonder some ppl go rabid at even the sight of someone wearing a mask and minding their own business#ppl seeking treatment for unrelated conditions/illnesses and then dying from covid caught in hospitals#due to lack of npis/basic mitigation measures - no regulations no accountability#we truly live in a hell (''new normal'') of our own making#anyway none of this is new news at all i mostly thought it might be good to share the info graphic abt signs of stroke#covid has been given free reign and chances are increasing as to how likely you'll encounter it happening to someone you know at some point#also heart attacks and pots and alzheimer's etc etc etc
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royalarchivist · 8 months ago
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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thefrogdalorian · 6 months ago
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I think on this fine Saturday afternoon it's a good opportunity to take a breather and remember that there are really no ethical paparazzi pictures. Every single one is inherently exploitative.
Just because photos were taken on a movie set, when someone is 'working,' does not make the practice any less invasive and creepy. Imagine just going about your day, doing your job and having some weirdo snapping pictures of you to sell without your consent for others to endlessly repost online.
There are thousands of pictures of your favourite actor online already. Plenty taken with his knowledge and consent. I'd really like to see more of them on my dash, rather than the creeper shots.
And don't get me started how disseminating these pictures directly leads to people going to said sets. What starts off as admiring how good someone looks has real world implications.
No, hanging around a movie set and disrupting people doing their jobs is not harmless fun or a way to show your appreciation.
If you hang around a movie set, you are a stalker.
Don't tell me that it's okay to take your online admiration for someone offline. You may admire him but he does not, and will never, personally know you. He will never be your friend/boyfriend/daddy. He is a stranger.
The only way meeting your favourite actor is going to happen is at a convention or maaaaaybe a movie premiere if you're incredibly fortunate. You know, places they appear specifically to meet fans (or not in the case of premieres, where the purpose is to promote a movie. Which is also completely understandable if actors don't stop. You are not owed an interaction).
Of course, you cannot help it if you randomly run into someone you admire in the wild. Even then, consider that they probably won't be all too thrilled to be approached in public by a complete stranger. It's up to you to gauge the situation, but remember there is a person at the heart of all of this.
Boundaries and respect are a kindness which deserves to be extended to each and every human being regardless of their looks/talent/fame/wealth.
Fandoms blur those lines a little too often for my liking and I think just scrutinising what you're interacting with, or what behaviour you could be possibly falling down that slippery slope towards is nice to do every once in a while.
I mean no malice with this post and it is not directed at anyone in particular. It's something I cannot help but feel strongly about because I've seen this destructive cycle time and again in fandoms over the years. It's not healthy and it makes us all a little bit more disconnected from our humanity for it...
#not naming names but....... screw it#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#accepting you will never interact with or meet this man will set you free from misery and jealousy i promise#he's great! if you think he's great watch another movie! write about a character! edit some photos of him! make gifs!#there are many MANY ways to engage with his work which don't include reposting creepy invasive photos taken without his consent#it's bs that this is just 'part of the job' because WHY... why should it be any different than any other job??#i know we always venerate talent and put people on pedestals.... that's a tale as old as time#but seeing him blow up last year was wild to witness and some of the behaviour from newer fans is very disheartening to see#he's just a human who poops and farts and is a dick sometimes like the rest of us. let's not treat him like a god thanks#spud rants#a lot LOL#i've bottled this up for a bit because the way this developed in real time to people actually going to the set is. what#and don't 'if pedro was in your city' because NO??? i wouldn't STALK SOMEONE? there's 0 justification for it#i have far better things to do than stalk people#i may be an autistic flop but i'm not a CREEPY STALKER autistic flop thanks x#anyway like i said this is truly not @ anyone in particular and i don't think you are a terrible person if you interacted with the photos#but please just remember there is a person at the heart of all this#a very talented and attractive person yes... but a person all the same#i would truly hate to be famous it gives me so much anxiety just the thought of the constant scrutiny#good thing i never will be LOL#fandom wank#discourse
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deoidesign · 6 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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bleaksqueak · 7 months ago
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see, ppl can say what they want about the resi 3 remake, but the remake got Mikhail perfect. Also i actually really love weird Puppy Nemesis lmao
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memento-morri-writes · 12 days ago
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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